Cinema Blaze

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/04/winter-arrived-game-thrones-afoot/

Winter Has Arrived the Game of Thrones is Afoot

Winter Has Arrived The Game of Thrones is Afoot

My makeshift crown is set askew as I sit before the throne of television that is HBO. The dark room is slightly lit from the fires of the hearth of Tywin as the Valerian steel sword of Rob Stark is being dismantled and melted, repoured and forged in the fourth season opener of Game of Thrones. Sadly, the carcass of one flat dire wolf is tossed into the embers as well. Let the Game of Thrones begin!

Jamie Lannister is clean and looking as shiny as a new penny in sparkly armor as he defies his father’s request to return to Casterly Rock to rule in his stead. Cersei is more self-centered than ever, failing to understand what Jamie has been through and not willing to give the man any love. He didn’t get any from his king/son either, who mocked him.

Prince Oberyn arrives at King’s Landing for the royal wedding, but Tyrion fears he’s come to the Red Keep for something else. Oberyn wasn’t with the arrival party, who mocks the pint sized greeter, who may be small in stature, but tall on brains, knew where to find the prince. His right hand protector stated that if he had been on the road that long, where would he go, “I would go to sleep, but I am getting old.”

He is met with resistance from a few of Lannisters in the brothel, who suggested instead of a woman they “Bring him a shaved goat and a bottle of olive oil.”  It may have been preferable to the young man and woman he selected for his amusement and pleasure earlier in the evening.

Meanwhile, Jon warns the skeptical Night’s Watch superiors about an impending attack, even confessing he broke his vows and lain with a Wildling woman.  He laid with her good too, so good, she is hunting his ass down. However, there is a leg on the spit roasting over the fire for wildling dinner. That still is unsettling to me.

Arya encounters a face from her past and asks the Hound for her own horse because she is tired of smelling his stink. They encounter Polliver, who still is carrying her sword “Needle” that he stole in Season 2 when he thought she as little boy. She runs that needle through him (it would have been cool if she had run the needle through his eye).  She gets her horse, some chicken and rides with a smile on her face.

The extra delicious Daario Naharis has been replaced by one that is not so sexy to discuss strategy with Daenerys on the journey to the slave city Meereen.  The roads are paved with dead children.  Speaking of children, those dragons are acting like a bunch of randy teenagers, and Mama doesn’t have that much control over these babies any more.

Damn, I love this show.

Sunday nights on HBO, The Game of Thrones, 10/9 c.

Cheryl Corbin is an Augusta-based freelance writer and regular contributor Cinemablaze. You can follow her on Twitter.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/04/sirens-alarmingly-funny/

Sirens is Alarmingly Funny!

Me: This show is going to be guy humor and I don’t want to watch it.

Hubby:  It is executive produced by Dennis Leary & Bob Fisher.

Me: Yeah, but it is going to be sophomoric with jokes about bodily functions.

Hubby:  It’s on USA  and they say characters are welcomed.

I don’t know what that was supposed to mean, but he tortured me, gave me the you washed my favorite jersey and destroyed it look. Fine!  I sat down and took a gander and I sat as he cued up Episode 3: Rachel McAdams Topless. I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants.

If you are not aware, Sirens on USA Network is about 3 Chicago EMT’s.  I don’t know if this is the year for medical and firefighting teams in the Windy City, but chuck one more into the fray. It stars Kevin Daniels, who plays a very gay Hank, who works with his best friend, a sports loving, good looking guy who is a dating a cop. Michael Mosely is the EMT who plays Johnny and Jessica McNamee as a smart lady cop. Bryan Cyzk plays the ever optimistic Kevin, who adds his own levels of irreverent nonsense to frazzle.

Let’s unroll some fabric and begin the fraying.

This episode is all about porn. A patient asks the 3 EMT’s to clear out his browser history before his wife gets home. They know it is porn.  We know it is porn. Let us be clear, there are different levels of porn from soft, women friendly to hardcore specialty.  Instead of simply erasing the material on the computer, these dudes decide to take a look at what the man has on the ole hard drive.

Some things, cannot be unseen.

(I apologize for the quality of the clip)

Yeah, it is even funnier when you see the whole show.  But funny scenes can not make up for some plot gaffs.  The show is written by a stand-up comedian so each episode is like a long running 25 minute bit. True enough, the job an an EMT is dark and can be emotionally scarring.  The dark humor can be a stress alleviator, but as I initially thought, it is a guy show, with sophomoric humor.

It is still a fun watch, but unless some new writers come on board to give some balance to what USA considers to be “edgy,” it is just another show about dudes laughing about farts and gay jokes.

Cheryl Corbin is a Augusta-based freelance writer and regular contributor Cinemablaze. You can follow her on Twitter.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/04/ahoy-mateys-hoisting-black-sails/

Ahoy Matey’s - Hoisting the Black Sails

I am happier than a harlot in the seven kingdoms. It is Watchathon Week on Comcast and I can see everything or anything I want to, so I am starting with Starz. This channel boasts several period pieces like DaVinci’s Demons, The White Queen, Black Sails, Power, Outlander, Dancing on the Edge, and Magic City. I think the pride of the herd is Spartacus, but I am starting with Black Sails, produced by Michael Bay.

Set in 1715, the story is a telling by John Silver and his encounters with Captain Flint, Blackbeard and other unsavory characters sailing through the West Indies. However, the Blackbeard we are introduced to is a woman and she is not hairy on her chin.  Dear Lord my eyes, and only 25 minutes into episode one and we have snatch and boobies. Putting gratuitous sex and titties early into a show tells me that story line is flat, there is too much back story and the writers are coasting along in choppy waters.

Thus far, I am spot on.  Politics, pirate shenanigans and whores a plenty are what the show revolves around and there are no characters which compel you to cheer for them.  I even saw one episode on pirate diarrhea, which is all they spoke about. Every character on the show are scallywags seeking their own self-interest. Even the pretty British daughter (Hannah New) of the string puller of the pirates, loves bandying about the word F*ck as if it is some magical password to power. After the fourth time she said this, I wanted to walk the plank.

Now we are 40 minutes into the show and I am bored (insert girl on girl action, show some more boobies). The only thing that can save this episode is some hard core violence with blood spatter on the camera lens.  Yep, here it is.  A sword fight between the captain and an disagreeable gent who is pushing for a pirate vote to mutiny against Captain Flint.

The costume design is fantastic.  The back drops are gorgeous.  The cinematography is spot on.  The writing, not so much.

Stars can drop the anchor on this one, because I found my excitement weighed down in malarkey.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/04/last-stop-walking-dead-terminus/

Last Stop on the Walking Dead - Terminus

Terminus- the end or extremity of anything.

Spoiler alert, if you have not seen the season finale, stop here, I am going to tell everything.  At least I will once I get over the chock full of shock from the last episode of the Walking Dead on AMC.  I am an avid reader, a staunch movie lover and a television junkie, but this episode shocked the arrrrgggghhh out of me.

I was concerned when they all got to Terminus and there were so much meat on the grill and no animals to be found. That was issue one for me. When Glenn and Maggie arrived, they seemed so happy and relieved to finally get a hot meal, a bath and a night of rest.  As we have learned on this show, if it seems too good to be true, it usually is.

Rick, Carl and Michonne are on the road headed to Terminus, but run into a bit of trouble along the way. Even after a sparse dinner of a scraggly rabbit, the talk of a good meal and some safety, is almost a precursor for the nasty that is coming. Joe along with his merry crew of misfits and marauders show up.  What is disturbing here is that the bad men are making plans to have their way with Michonne, after they were done with Carl.  I know right?  I was hashtagging #dafuq for twenty minutes.  That creepy fat man was on that boy like he was at an all you can eat buffet and planning to do bad things to the kid in front of his father.

Darryl attempted to help but they kicked the crap out of him. However, Rick is one bad son of a gun, and still locked in a tug of war with that fool Joe. He used the only weapon he had available, his teeth.  Yep, he ripped that man’s throat out with his teeth!  The pervert that was dry humping Rick’s son, him, he kill-de-dead too.  Michonne wasn’t nice to the man who was kicking the walking dead out of Darryl and the other fella, she put a bullet in his face. It was traumatic for all involved; especially me.

Anyhoo.  The next day, Carl, Michonne, Rick & Darryl make their way on to Terminus, the end of the road.  Being the untrusting soul that he is, Rick hides their weapons outside of the Terminus gates arriving at their new home, through the back door.  It was too calm to be real.

Like me, after seeing all the meat on the grill and no animals, Rick became suspicious.  He was also alerted to something being really wrong when he saw one of the Terminus resident wearing a watch that was last seen with Glenn.  Some dude was wearing Maggie’s poncho, which leads to a shootout. I was alerted to something being extremely wrong when I saw the remnants of human body parts, skeletons and spinal columns.

#dafuq  #dafuq  #dafuq # dafuq #dafuq  #dafuq  #dafuq # dafuq

Terminus is terminal!  They are cannibals.  Run fools Run!

But they can’t get out!  Instead, they are all locked in a train car only to be reunited with some old friends and some new ones as well.  The new friends feel as if it is all for naught and they are going to be Terminus chow, but not Rick.  That bad sumgun (yes, I made up a word) is planning to go Terminator on Terminus.  His final words and the last lines of the season were delivered by the Lone Lawman, “They’re going to feel really stupid when they find out (insert sexy back glance into the camera) they’re screwing with the wrong people.”

I can’t wait until he shows them how stupid they are.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/kiss-kiss-scandal-bang-bang/

Kiss Kiss Scandal Bang Bang

Just when you thought this show couldn’t get any more scandalous, they roll out new levels of craziness to keep us hooked. James Novak just got a bullet in the head courtesy of Jake from B6-13.  And Cyrus’s punk ass is sitting there acting like he is shocked, when we know his shady butt ordered the hit. Yes, I am talking about episode 14 of Scandal on ABC.

Olivia, of course calls Jake asking him to look into the matter and he politely tells her, “I am in the middle of something.” Yes, you are in the middle of burying the other two people you killed last night.  Jake, I didn’t like you before, but now, I think I am disturbingly turned on.  Dig that hole Baby! Hide those bodies Big Daddy.

“Bad things happen to good people all of the time,” Jake tells Olivia right after he admits to having personally pulled the trigger that killed the NSA Agent, reporter and her beloved whinny James. This comes on the heels of her fining out that Quinn was in her safe and B6-13 knows all about Sally killing her husband.

As I watched the flash back on how Cyrus and James met, with the horrible neck beard and sparse comb over, my wind wandered as Abby entered the scene wearing a fabulous tailored coat. It was as pleasantly surprising as finding out there is an Airforce 2 for the Vice President. Okay, distracted, sorry, but watching Cyrus and James flirting, made me hurl a little. Especially when he told Cyrus he had a very hot mouth.  Dear Lord, I just threw up in mine. Not because of the two men, but because Cyrus is, well, fugly.  Then they get into an argument, “I am not some dirty little secret, I am your boyfriend.”  Too bad, he is not sad that his boyfriend, turned husband was executed in the street.

It was a beautiful moment when Cyrus fell apart on the podium in front of the press corps. Fitz came out and collected him in a tender scene. Another tender minute came when Jake sat at the side of the man he shot, ensuring him that he would not die alone.  In the end, that is what is important to make our lives mean something.  In the end, we are not alone, but when you make everyone around you miserable, it seems futile.

What is the point? This is the question Olivia asked her father.

The point, so eloquently explained by Eli Pope, everyone is worth saving.  “The point of you, is that it is your job to drag everyone into the light.”  I figured that out because she is always wearing white and carrying that beautiful white Prada bag. Only thing that heffah is missing is a white Mercedes and a pony named Sparkles.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Mellie is hanging with the new Vice Presidential candidate trying to rally the gun totters over to Fitz’s side.  Yet, she is shooting skeet and getting all stimulated with liquor in a hotel room. It only took two lines and sexy look and the first lady was counting ceiling tiles. Not really, her eyes were closed with bliss because we know the president hasn’t given her any attention since they conceived that baby.

The big question is, what about the other two babies we never see?  We are going to see those horrible little monsters next week.  The kids are coming home from boarding school.

Chat with me live on Twitter @assistingu on Thursday nights at 10/9 c during Scandal on ABC.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/ink-masters-back/

Ink Masters are Back!

I would like an eyeball tattooed on my throat.  Really?  WTF is wrong with you?  I guess nothing is as bad as the guy who wanted an eyeball tattooed in the palm of his hand. Welcome to Season 4 of Ink Masters on Spike TV. Tuesday night just got truly colorful.

Dave Navarro hosts Ink Master, Spike TV’s first reality show competition about tattoos. The show features artists from around the country to compete for a $100,000 grand prize and  an editorial feature in Inked Magazine.  The winner also gets bragging rights and an inking bad ass.

The contestants face a truly tough panel of judges. I have seen break downs, break outs, screaming matches and some shit I wouldn’t have inked on my dog’s ass. Sometimes the judges agree with me, Chris Nunez (“Miami Ink”) and Oliver Peck (Elm Street Tattoo) who are joined by a roster of guest judges including CC Sabathia, Rob Zombie and Brandon Rios round out  this season’s panel.  What the artist create will last a lifetime on the bodies of the suckers who volunteer to come in and get inked up.

I think a few of them should get liquored up before walking into the door as a human canvas. This season, the human canvases also get a say in who stays or who goes. The Canvases will form their own jury, deliberate as a group and pick one artist per episode who will be up for elimination.

Although some of these tattoos are pretty frickin scary, what is scarier is that many of the contestants own their own tattoo parlors.

The Ink Master Season Four tattoo artists are (listed in alphabetical order):

  • David Bell (@davidbelltattoo) – Owner/artist at TLA Tattoos in Fredericksburg, VA
  • Ashley Bennett (@ashleybtattoo) – Artist at Body Graphics in South Windsor, CT
  • “Gentle” Jay Blondel (@Gentl_jay) – Artist at Alchemy Tattoo Arts in North Bellmore, NY
  • Lydia Bruno (@inkbyLydia) – Co-owner/artist at Unique Arts Studio in Glens Falls, NY
  • Damon Butler (@hautedraws) – Manager/artist at Extreme Fantasy in Abington, MA
  • Keith Diffenderfer (@kdiffenderfer) – Artist at Honor & Iron in Rehoboth Beach, DE
  • Kyle Dunbar (@InkbyKyleDunbar) – Owner/artist at Almighty Tattoo in Flint, MI
  • Jim Francis (@tattooedjim) – Owner/artist at Milwaukee Ink in Milwaukee, WI
  • Walter “Sausage” Frank (@Sausagekingtat) – Artist at Club Tattoo in Las Vegas, NV
  • Halo (@tattoosbyhalo) – Owner/artist at Black Lotus Tattoo Gallery in Severn, MD
  • King Ruck (@therealkingruck) – Owner/artist at Black Spade Tattoo & Red Elephant Tattoo in Las Vegas, NV
  • Matti Hixson (@mattihixson) – Artist at Trinity Tattoo in Virginia Beach, VA
  • Bubba Irwin (@bubbairwin) – Owner/artist at Old Town Ink in Scottsdale, AZ
  • Scott Marshall (@smarshalltattoo) – Artist at Roselle Tattoo Co. in Roselle, IL
  • Melissa Monroe (@Monroever) – Artist at Homeward Bound Tattoo in Port Washington, WI
  • Roland Pacheco (@Roland_Pacheco) – Owner/artist at Xisle Custom Tattoo in Hawi, HI
  • Randy Vollink (@randyvollink) – Artist at Club Tattoo in Scottsdale, AZ

Tune in Tuesdays at 10/9 c on Spike TV for colorful language, colorful characters and some bad ass ink from the masters.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/checking-bates-motel/Checking Into Bates MotelYou’d be hard-pressed to find any film buff who doesn’t have Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho included on their list for all-time favorite horror movies. It’s a title that has been paired with the term ‘classic’ on countless occasions and rightfully so. Every now and then, a film comes along and completely redefines its respective genre. In the 90s, it was Scream. In the 70s, it was Halloween. The 60s, well, that decade belongs to Psycho. I know you’re all probably thinking, “Where is he going with this rant?” I can assure you, there is a point to be made.
Remember back in the mid-90s when rumors first surfaced that Universal Pictures was planning to remake Hitchcock’s classic? Everyone cringed. As it turns out, the 1998 remake to Psycho, which starred Vince Vaughn as the tall, socially awkward Norman Bates, was an atrocity. It was a scene-by-scene redo that failed to capture the suspense and tension of original. The fact of the matter is we’ve all scene Hitchcock’s classic. The remake doesn’t even attempt to venture into new territory. Long story short, it doesn’t take any risks. And that’s exactly why Bates Motel works. The writers take risks and those risks greatly pay off.
I didn’t do a whole lot of homework prior to watching Bates Motel. Truth be told, I wasn’t expecting to make it past the show’s pilot. As we’ve all come to learn, Netflix doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to keeping their instant library updated with fresh content. I think Bates Motel was one of approximately ten new titles added during the month of February. Having seen just about every other film and television show available in the company’s instant library, I decided to give the A&E series a chance. Needless to say, I probably should have waited to do it on a day where I didn’t have to be up for work bright and early the next day. I ended up watching all ten episodes of the show’s first season in one sitting.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/checking-bates-motel/

Checking Into Bates Motel

You’d be hard-pressed to find any film buff who doesn’t have Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho included on their list for all-time favorite horror movies. It’s a title that has been paired with the term ‘classic’ on countless occasions and rightfully so. Every now and then, a film comes along and completely redefines its respective genre. In the 90s, it was Scream. In the 70s, it was Halloween. The 60s, well, that decade belongs to Psycho. I know you’re all probably thinking, “Where is he going with this rant?” I can assure you, there is a point to be made.

Remember back in the mid-90s when rumors first surfaced that Universal Pictures was planning to remake Hitchcock’s classic? Everyone cringed. As it turns out, the 1998 remake to Psycho, which starred Vince Vaughn as the tall, socially awkward Norman Bates, was an atrocity. It was a scene-by-scene redo that failed to capture the suspense and tension of original. The fact of the matter is we’ve all scene Hitchcock’s classic. The remake doesn’t even attempt to venture into new territory. Long story short, it doesn’t take any risks. And that’s exactly why Bates Motel works. The writers take risks and those risks greatly pay off.

I didn’t do a whole lot of homework prior to watching Bates Motel. Truth be told, I wasn’t expecting to make it past the show’s pilot. As we’ve all come to learn, Netflix doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to keeping their instant library updated with fresh content. I think Bates Motel was one of approximately ten new titles added during the month of February. Having seen just about every other film and television show available in the company’s instant library, I decided to give the A&E series a chance. Needless to say, I probably should have waited to do it on a day where I didn’t have to be up for work bright and early the next day. I ended up watching all ten episodes of the show’s first season in one sitting.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/300-bloody-greek-tragedy/

300: A Bloody Greek Tragedy

I saw this movie.  It was a lot of blood

A lot of blood.

A lot of people died.

In 3D, there was more blood coming at your face, and in 2D it was a lot of blood.

I was pursed and ready for something spectacular to rival or follow behind the blockbuster 300.  King Leonitis is dead, his queen is grieving and then there is this other dude, Themistokles who is defending Greece from the sea. I honestly like I need to wear a raincoat like at a showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Before I move forward, I have to take you back to grade school as I reintroduce a word that you probably have not heard in a while, soliloquy.

so·lil·o·quy, səˈliləkwē/  noun
 1.an act of speaking one’s thoughts aloud when by oneself or regardless of any hearers, esp. by a character in a play.
There are so many in this movie that outside of those, there is no real substance in the plot.  The Persians are invading and we are going to kill them all.  We will  make it the movie interesting by putting it all at sea, add a horse, and some clever word play.  Eva Green plays Artemisia, counsel to Xerxes as a leather wearing evil genius that you absolutely love.  She saves the movie with her love hate relationship with Themistokles, telling him during their hand to hand fight, “you hit hard than you F*ck.”
Ouch.
After that, some more people die, and Xerxes continue on land to conquer some other stuff.
That’s it.
New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/revoking-membership-single-moms-club/Revoking the Membership to The Single Mom’s ClubAll dressed up and nowhere to go is how I felt after spending way too long in a movie theater seat to see Tyler Perry’s latest sitcom on a movie screen, The Single Mom’s Club. It wasn’t even really funny. Nor was it believable. It only made $3.2 million on opening night which isn’t even six movie theaters in Atlanta or LA. Let’s face it, the movie was a flop, which is also unfortunately where Perry’s career is headed.
Although the movie was aimed at women to be a unifying rallying cry that we all need each other and if we look deep enough, we will find a unifying bond, but well, this wasn’t the right vehicle to deliver the message. The only message this movie delivered is that black women are a hell of a lot more patient with intolerant people than anyone else. I can tell you right now, that is a blatant lie. I will personally go from hello to ghetto in 3 seconds if you cross me wrong. I will do it with a smile and a few big words, ‘cause I went to college, but I am not going to tolerate you being a raging asshat because you don’t know any better.
This movie centers around five women whose children all attend an exclusive private school in Atlanta. The kids are all experiencing growing pains and being little jerks in need of some serious ass whippings, which prompts the school principal to put the moms on detention. Detention means the moms are responsible for putting together the school dance and fund raiser.
Here is where is gets really stupid. Nia Long plays May and earnest journalist with a manuscript in need of a publisher and the leader of the pack. Cocoa Brown plays the black waitress who got pregnant too young and has two sons in prison and one that she is over protective of and two more children with racially ambiguous names that sounded like a good idea at the time. Of course you need the overdressed Latina who has no job but is always dressed to the nines played by Zulay Henao who, by the way, is in desperate need of acting lessons. The crew is rounded out by the stereotypical blond who centered her life around her attorney husband that divorced her and reduced her alimony, and now she can’t afford her maid; a maid that was raising her daughter. Last but not least in the lot of losers was the workaholic white power hungry lady who was artificially inseminated whose daughter hates her.
The movie has a few laugh out loud moments courtesy of Terry Crews who basically carried the movie. The rest of the exes, father’s, and or baby daddy’s are trite, stereotypes that are just boring. The next door neighbor, played by Ryan Eggold, who is tongue tied most of the time, give a warm screen appearance with a double entendre conversation about his wood and ability to nail something with it.
Perry plays writer, director, love interest and everything else in this movie. He would have fared better putting on the bra and wig and bringing in corny ass Madea. Honestly, he was more effective as Alex Cross and we know how that turned out.
All in all, after a few margarita’s, it was worth a night out with the girls. I give it two top shelf margaritas before it puts you to sleep.
Call me Tyler, I will write you a winning movie.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/revoking-membership-single-moms-club/

Revoking the Membership to The Single Mom’s Club

All dressed up and nowhere to go is how I felt after spending way too long in a movie theater seat to see Tyler Perry’s latest sitcom on a movie screen, The Single Mom’s Club. It wasn’t even really funny. Nor was it believable. It only made $3.2 million on opening night which isn’t even six movie theaters in Atlanta or LA. Let’s face it, the movie was a flop, which is also unfortunately where Perry’s career is headed.

Although the movie was aimed at women to be a unifying rallying cry that we all need each other and if we look deep enough, we will find a unifying bond, but well, this wasn’t the right vehicle to deliver the message. The only message this movie delivered is that black women are a hell of a lot more patient with intolerant people than anyone else. I can tell you right now, that is a blatant lie. I will personally go from hello to ghetto in 3 seconds if you cross me wrong. I will do it with a smile and a few big words, ‘cause I went to college, but I am not going to tolerate you being a raging asshat because you don’t know any better.

This movie centers around five women whose children all attend an exclusive private school in Atlanta. The kids are all experiencing growing pains and being little jerks in need of some serious ass whippings, which prompts the school principal to put the moms on detention. Detention means the moms are responsible for putting together the school dance and fund raiser.

Here is where is gets really stupid. Nia Long plays May and earnest journalist with a manuscript in need of a publisher and the leader of the pack. Cocoa Brown plays the black waitress who got pregnant too young and has two sons in prison and one that she is over protective of and two more children with racially ambiguous names that sounded like a good idea at the time. Of course you need the overdressed Latina who has no job but is always dressed to the nines played by Zulay Henao who, by the way, is in desperate need of acting lessons. The crew is rounded out by the stereotypical blond who centered her life around her attorney husband that divorced her and reduced her alimony, and now she can’t afford her maid; a maid that was raising her daughter. Last but not least in the lot of losers was the workaholic white power hungry lady who was artificially inseminated whose daughter hates her.

The movie has a few laugh out loud moments courtesy of Terry Crews who basically carried the movie. The rest of the exes, father’s, and or baby daddy’s are trite, stereotypes that are just boring. The next door neighbor, played by Ryan Eggold, who is tongue tied most of the time, give a warm screen appearance with a double entendre conversation about his wood and ability to nail something with it.
Perry plays writer, director, love interest and everything else in this movie. He would have fared better putting on the bra and wig and bringing in corny ass Madea. Honestly, he was more effective as Alex Cross and we know how that turned out.

All in all, after a few margarita’s, it was worth a night out with the girls. I give it two top shelf margaritas before it puts you to sleep.

Call me Tyler, I will write you a winning movie.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/abcs-ratings-benefit-resurrection/

ABC’s Ratings Benefit from Resurrection

In giddy anticipation I popped my corn, grabbed an Angry Orchard Green Apple Cider and took a seat on Sunday night in front of the idiot box and waited for it to start.  ABC rolled out the first episode of Resurrection, and like the people of Arcadia, Missouri, our lives are forever changed.  Any time dead people start popping up like wild daisies, it is gonna be a good run.

It starts with Immigration agent J. Martin Bellamy (Omar Epps) is tasked with picking up an eight year old boy who appeared in a rice field in China.  Jacob, the boy, says he is from Arcadia, where Agent Bellamy returns him to 60 year old parents. Everything about the boy is accurate; the DNA says so, but where has he been for 32 years?

<iframe width=”644″ height=”362″ src=”http://abc.go.com/embed/VDKA0_zxej3nzw” frameborder=”0″></iframe>

Resurrection was developed by Aaron Zelman (Damages, The Killing) who understands the art of storytelling and building a workable tension through a sustainable plot. The tension on this show is palpable.   Jacob’s arrival is not the only tension creator on the show; his arrival opens a great deal of old wounds which have been carefully tended over the years.  However, underneath the bandages are festering sores that have started to turn gangrenous.  Secrets are coming out and Jacob is not safe.

Not many people in the town are safe because Arcadia maybe the gateway to and unfettered afterlife.  The show has an eerie correlation to Lost.  The only difference, Lost is where the souls ended up, and it appears Arcadia is where they are returning to. Can the town doctor and the Agent Bellamy keep a lid on things before the world find out what is happening?

Tune in to Resurrection SUNDAYS 9|8c on ABC.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/making-believe-intrigued-nbc/

Making Believe We Are Intrigued on NBC

JJ Abrams & Alfonso Cauron team up to bring us a modern rendition of what exactly, it is uncertain. However, NBC bought the storyline, hook, line and stinker of a little girl, named Bo with special powers that is protected by a death row inmate. The death row inmate is freed by a covert operation that protects people with special powers like Bo. It is a cross between Touch, The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and a young Jesus in the modern age.

There is nothing really knew or amazing with this show, however the producers want us to have faith and Believe. I believe the show can be so much better.  The pilot was laced with innuendo and supposition backed up with crooked plot twist that truly have no real ending since we can easily surmise the answers.

The characters are allegorically named, for example, the leader of the organization is Milton Winter. As a lover of English and teacher of the same, John Milton wrote the epic poem Paradise Lost. In the work, Milton chronicles the fall of mankind in the Garden of Eden and the temptation of mankind by the fallen angel, Satan. The story by Milton is done in two parts with one focusing on the Adam and Eve; the other gives an accounting of the out casting of the angels to Hell.

Winter, as a season, is symbolic of a time of reflection where everything in nature slumbers in order to renew itself. It also symbolizes stagnation. Whereas Tate, in the Native American language means takes a lot. And the name Bo means commanding.

I know it seems as if I have gone around the world to come back home, but it all adds up.  If Milton is the leader of the good guys, who is protecting Bo from the evil henchman Roman Skouros, and Tate is sent to guard Bo, then one can surmise that the human race is in trouble.  Skouras and Winter are old partners turned mortal enemies. The forces of darkness have been in hibernation, but are now gathering their forces to take over, but Bo will lead them all as commander.  This is if Tate, who has taken a lot, can keep her safe. It has also been stated that Tate is Bo’s father.

Are you yawning yet?  At least with Touch, we knew what the little boy was capable of, and with Bo, we are led to believe that her powers are infinite, and growing with each encounter.  However, it has been implied that there is another like Little Bo who has full command of his skillsets.

Bo has convinced Tate that everything will be all right as the climb aboard a bus to Philadelphia with $120 in their pockets.  I am not certain if this show is going to be all right.  It is far too much competition on Sunday nights with shows that have stronger plots.  If you are looking for something different, then tune in at 9/8c to NBC.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/fleshing-walking-dead/

Fleshing Out the Walking Dead

In the absence of all else, we must maintain hope. It is said that hope springs eternal, but when everyone around you is either crazy, or infecting with a virus that causes you to crave human flesh, well, you may need something more than hope.  A Colt .45 is a nice place to start but with as many are infected on AMC’s The Walking Dead, a machine gun would be much better.

It still amazes me, even as we enter the undead halls of the building a Season 4, I am still unsettled by the beauty of the makeup of these revenants.  Each one looks a little different with oozing open sores, black gums, Kool- aid stained tongues and voice timbers all singing the same cacophony of “arrrrggrrrhhhgggh. ”  It is beautifully terrible as the remnants of the human race fight for survival.

The Walking Dead

It is not as if the humans are teaming up to ensure that the race continues, they are all still fighting for power, killing each other so one rooster can rule the hen house.  There is enough chickens for everyone, although the palates may not be as refined.

The savory show with many unsavory characters is one of the most watched shows in basic cable history.  It is based on the Robert Kirkman comic book series published by Image Comics and each season we are introduced to more drama as the wraiths of mayhem search for food and human search for ways to stay alive. Season 4 was introduced in two parts, with the first airing in October and the last eight episodes returning in February.  As you can see I am catching up.

While I watched the three episodes that I missed, I found that after the prison was over taken by the rebels, the people who made it out on the bus actually did not make it out on the bus. The wheels on the bus came to a grinding halt as all the people infected turned. In others words, in the appropriately named episode Claimed, each person is mission critical.  However, not all of them are very smart.

As wonderful as it is to see them working together, it is equally troubling to see the factions that are created to take advantage, rape, pillage and cause mayhem.  The contaminated flesh eaters may be the ones infected, but as the show demonstrates, we are all subject to the virus of greed. Whether the gluttony be the result of an overzealous need to have more women, time or resources, the show churns on introducing new characters to make us hope. It is unclear if in the end they will survive, or whether the show is a parable to where we are headed, but it is good television.

Tune in on Sunday Nights for The Walking Dead on AMC at 9/8c.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/crime-solving-true-detective/Crime Solving with True DetectiveWritten and created by Nic Pizzolatto, HBO debuts a new show called True Detective. Okay, it has Mathew McConaughey and Woody Harellson as two flat foots in 1995 Louisiana trying to solve a string of serial killings. However, these two are so damaged in their own personal rights, that they are the perfect partners for each other, although neither agree they should work together. After seeing a few episodes, I think I sort of agree.
Fast forward to 2012, State Police Detectives Rust Cohle (Harrelson) and Martin Hart (McConaughey) are brought in to revisit the homicide case they worked on ’95.  Through separate interrogations, which we believe are interviews, both detectives narrate how they remember the story unfolding. However, as they recount the occurrences of the darkness of the depraved killer, we learn that not all the bad guys are on the other side of the law.  Some of the bad guys also ear badges.
Here is spoiler alert, they got the wrong guy.
Yes, they framed a bunch of people, killed many others, and still, got the wrong dude.
Let me catch you up.
Episode One: Louisiana State CID detectives Martin Hart and Rustin Cohle investigate a murdered woman found in a burned sugarcane field near the town of Erath. The victim is bound and blindfolded, wearing a crown of roots and antlers, with a blue spiral painted on her upper back. Sculptural stick lattices are also found nearby. Cohle sketches the crime scene in his large portfolio, a trait that’s earned him the nickname “The Tax Man.” He shares his theory with Hart: This isn’t the killer’s first victim.
Episode Two:  The Detectives continue their investigation into Dora Lange’s murder. The case’s possible connection to another missing girl, Marie Fontenot, proves tenuous; there’s no explanation for how the lattice structure came to be in Marie’s old playhouse. This episode we also find that Hart experiences blackouts and hallucinations from neural damage when he worked deep cover in a drug trafficking operation.
Episode Three: The detectives watch as a forensics team documents the mural they discovered in the abandoned church. Afterwards, the partners locate the revival ministry they believe Dora Lange attended, the Friends of Christ, where a preacher sermonizes a crowd of underprivileged patrons. In this episode, Cohle returns home from being with his side piece to find a freshly cut yard and his partner Hart sitting in his kitchen having ice tea with his wife.  Insert undue tension into the relationship, which starts to unravel the two partners.
Episode Four: Because they now have a definite suspect, Hart and Cohle are allowed to keep the case from the task force, and they brief the team on their new lead while setting to work looking for Tyrone “Tyro” Weems. The partners track down his ex-girlfriend Kelsey at a strip club. Kelsey claims she can’t help them, but with some encouragement from Hart, the club’s bartender acknowledges Tyro is Kelsey’s ride most nights.
Episode Five: With both suspects dead, Cohle covers for Hart. He has Hart remove the handcuffs from Ledoux, grabs an AK and open fires into the forest. The resulting scene is consistent with the story both men tell the shooting board in 1995.  Later, Hart tells Gilbough and Papania he was promoted to detective sergeant after the case wrapped and he got back together with his wife. Cohle received a commendation for bravery and dated a doctor named Laurie. Years later, Hart laments that he didn’t appreciate the good times with his wife and daughters when he should have, but of course he couldn’t, because he was too busy scouting out young loving.
Episode Six: In 2002, Martin Hart visits the holding cell of the two young men caught with his underage daughter. Hart offers them a choice: prison time in Angola or his version of justice. After beating the two boys, he leaves the building and vomits.  Most times your kids are a reflection on how good of a parent you were.  Cohle kids are a prime example that he sucked as a father.
Episode Seven: Cohle believes this person has been responsible for disappearances all over the coast. He confesses he’s been working the case on his own since he returned to Louisiana two years ago, and he needs Marty. When Hart refuses to help, Cohle insists that Hart has a debt; he killed Ledoux before they could get answers from him, he takes his former friend to a storage unit filled with data, maps and information on the case he is obsessed with.
Now you are caught up, tune in for Episode 8 which premiers March 9 on HBO at 9/8c.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/crime-solving-true-detective/

Crime Solving with True Detective

Written and created by Nic Pizzolatto, HBO debuts a new show called True Detective. Okay, it has Mathew McConaughey and Woody Harellson as two flat foots in 1995 Louisiana trying to solve a string of serial killings. However, these two are so damaged in their own personal rights, that they are the perfect partners for each other, although neither agree they should work together. After seeing a few episodes, I think I sort of agree.

Fast forward to 2012, State Police Detectives Rust Cohle (Harrelson) and Martin Hart (McConaughey) are brought in to revisit the homicide case they worked on ’95.  Through separate interrogations, which we believe are interviews, both detectives narrate how they remember the story unfolding. However, as they recount the occurrences of the darkness of the depraved killer, we learn that not all the bad guys are on the other side of the law.  Some of the bad guys also ear badges.

Here is spoiler alert, they got the wrong guy.

Yes, they framed a bunch of people, killed many others, and still, got the wrong dude.

Let me catch you up.

Episode One: Louisiana State CID detectives Martin Hart and Rustin Cohle investigate a murdered woman found in a burned sugarcane field near the town of Erath. The victim is bound and blindfolded, wearing a crown of roots and antlers, with a blue spiral painted on her upper back. Sculptural stick lattices are also found nearby. Cohle sketches the crime scene in his large portfolio, a trait that’s earned him the nickname “The Tax Man.” He shares his theory with Hart: This isn’t the killer’s first victim.

Episode Two:  The Detectives continue their investigation into Dora Lange’s murder. The case’s possible connection to another missing girl, Marie Fontenot, proves tenuous; there’s no explanation for how the lattice structure came to be in Marie’s old playhouse. This episode we also find that Hart experiences blackouts and hallucinations from neural damage when he worked deep cover in a drug trafficking operation.

Episode Three: The detectives watch as a forensics team documents the mural they discovered in the abandoned church. Afterwards, the partners locate the revival ministry they believe Dora Lange attended, the Friends of Christ, where a preacher sermonizes a crowd of underprivileged patrons. In this episode, Cohle returns home from being with his side piece to find a freshly cut yard and his partner Hart sitting in his kitchen having ice tea with his wife.  Insert undue tension into the relationship, which starts to unravel the two partners.

Episode Four: Because they now have a definite suspect, Hart and Cohle are allowed to keep the case from the task force, and they brief the team on their new lead while setting to work looking for Tyrone “Tyro” Weems. The partners track down his ex-girlfriend Kelsey at a strip club. Kelsey claims she can’t help them, but with some encouragement from Hart, the club’s bartender acknowledges Tyro is Kelsey’s ride most nights.

Episode Five: With both suspects dead, Cohle covers for Hart. He has Hart remove the handcuffs from Ledoux, grabs an AK and open fires into the forest. The resulting scene is consistent with the story both men tell the shooting board in 1995.  Later, Hart tells Gilbough and Papania he was promoted to detective sergeant after the case wrapped and he got back together with his wife. Cohle received a commendation for bravery and dated a doctor named Laurie. Years later, Hart laments that he didn’t appreciate the good times with his wife and daughters when he should have, but of course he couldn’t, because he was too busy scouting out young loving.

Episode Six: In 2002, Martin Hart visits the holding cell of the two young men caught with his underage daughter. Hart offers them a choice: prison time in Angola or his version of justice. After beating the two boys, he leaves the building and vomits.  Most times your kids are a reflection on how good of a parent you were.  Cohle kids are a prime example that he sucked as a father.

Episode Seven: Cohle believes this person has been responsible for disappearances all over the coast. He confesses he’s been working the case on his own since he returned to Louisiana two years ago, and he needs Marty. When Hart refuses to help, Cohle insists that Hart has a debt; he killed Ledoux before they could get answers from him, he takes his former friend to a storage unit filled with data, maps and information on the case he is obsessed with.

Now you are caught up, tune in for Episode 8 which premiers March 9 on HBO at 9/8c.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/pass-chianti-fava-beans-hannibal/Pass the Chianti and Fava Beans, HannibalOn February 28th, NBC brought back the good doctor for a second season amid rave reviews, in a formidable game of cat and mouse with Hannibal. Aptly named for the role of a lifetime, Mads Mikkelsen perfectly portrays the cannibalistic arch enemy of those close on his heels in this psychological drama that has captivated millions of viewers.  I am at the top of the list.
In season one, FBI profiler, Will Graham, was hot on the trail of a serial killer who enjoyed impaling his victims upon the antlers of wild game.  One, problem, Dr. Lecter, has framed Will for the murders. Hugh Dancy stars in “Hannibal” as Will Graham, the gifted criminal profiler who enlists the help of psychiatrist-turned-serial killer, Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Mads Mikkleson), to help him track down with the FBI some of the country’s most heinous serial killers. However, Will’s intuition leads him far closer to home, and on the trail of his personal psychiatrist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter.
Fast forward to season two, Will is locked behind bars, desperate to prove his innocence to Jack Crawford played by Laurence Fishburne, who has turned to Dr. Lecture, to save his protégé Will. Jack Crawford is head of the FBI’s Behavioral Science Unit. His mission is to apprehend the most vicious serial killers known to man and his most valuable weapon is profiler Will Graham.  Well, at least he was.
Mads Mikkleson, brilliantly plays Dr. Hannibal Lecter the witty gentleman with the exceptional palate that we grew to fear and love from Thomas Harris’ classic novels. In Season 2, Episode 2, titled Kaiseki, the FBI is investigating claims against Dr. Lecter, but a new serial killer emerges.  This dude, man, is the mayor of Crazytown, and is making a color palate with human bodies, to hang on his office walls.
The bodies are covered in something that petrifies the bodies, as they are wrapped in a tight circle of naked human souls.  The center piece of his masterpiece had a high tolerance for opiates and woke up.  Too bad he was ass glued to the dead guy in front and back of him, each a shade lighter and shade darker than his skin tone.  I know right?  He woke up screaming as his pulled away his super glued skin to the other dead guys.
He was screaming.
I was screaming.
I don’t think I am going to sleep well tonight.
You know why?  Dr. Lecter, cut off the killers leg and made a nice Osso Bucco with carrots and white wine for dinner. It looked delicious and I wanted some.  That is kind of hard to swallow.
Let me know if you can.
Hell, let me know if you do.
Catch Hannibal on Friday nights at 10&#160;pm on NBC.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/pass-chianti-fava-beans-hannibal/

Pass the Chianti and Fava Beans, Hannibal

On February 28th, NBC brought back the good doctor for a second season amid rave reviews, in a formidable game of cat and mouse with Hannibal. Aptly named for the role of a lifetime, Mads Mikkelsen perfectly portrays the cannibalistic arch enemy of those close on his heels in this psychological drama that has captivated millions of viewers.  I am at the top of the list.

In season one, FBI profiler, Will Graham, was hot on the trail of a serial killer who enjoyed impaling his victims upon the antlers of wild game.  One, problem, Dr. Lecter, has framed Will for the murders. Hugh Dancy stars in “Hannibal” as Will Graham, the gifted criminal profiler who enlists the help of psychiatrist-turned-serial killer, Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Mads Mikkleson), to help him track down with the FBI some of the country’s most heinous serial killers. However, Will’s intuition leads him far closer to home, and on the trail of his personal psychiatrist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

Fast forward to season two, Will is locked behind bars, desperate to prove his innocence to Jack Crawford played by Laurence Fishburne, who has turned to Dr. Lecture, to save his protégé Will. Jack Crawford is head of the FBI’s Behavioral Science Unit. His mission is to apprehend the most vicious serial killers known to man and his most valuable weapon is profiler Will Graham.  Well, at least he was.

Mads Mikkleson, brilliantly plays Dr. Hannibal Lecter the witty gentleman with the exceptional palate that we grew to fear and love from Thomas Harris’ classic novels. In Season 2, Episode 2, titled Kaiseki, the FBI is investigating claims against Dr. Lecter, but a new serial killer emerges.  This dude, man, is the mayor of Crazytown, and is making a color palate with human bodies, to hang on his office walls.

The bodies are covered in something that petrifies the bodies, as they are wrapped in a tight circle of naked human souls.  The center piece of his masterpiece had a high tolerance for opiates and woke up.  Too bad he was ass glued to the dead guy in front and back of him, each a shade lighter and shade darker than his skin tone.  I know right?  He woke up screaming as his pulled away his super glued skin to the other dead guys.

He was screaming.

I was screaming.

I don’t think I am going to sleep well tonight.

You know why?  Dr. Lecter, cut off the killers leg and made a nice Osso Bucco with carrots and white wine for dinner. It looked delicious and I wanted some.  That is kind of hard to swallow.

Let me know if you can.

Hell, let me know if you do.

Catch Hannibal on Friday nights at 10 pm on NBC.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/keeping-following/Keeping Up with the FollowingI just changed the channel and opened a can of crazy.  Crazy, creepy, good laced with a dose of Kevin Bacon returning as a damaged Ryan Hardy on the FOX thriller, The Following.  If you have been following the show, Joe Carroll is alive, he has new supporters and those bastards are killing people.  Again.
Here are the main players.
Kevin Bacon as Ryan Hardy, a former FBI agent who, in 2003, led the FBI team that captured serial killer Joe Carroll and is recalled to assist the FBI once Carroll escapes and his cult begins to develop, again.
Joe Carroll a former professor turned serial killer and cult leader played by James Purefoy.
Shawn Ashmore as Mike Weston, a young FBI agent
Valorie Curry  has returned as well as Emma Hill, a follower and romantic partner of Joe Carroll
However, this season, there are a bunch of people speaking French and killing more people.
The FBI states that there are over 300 serial killers operating nationwide. This show toys with the concept if these killers could connect and talk to each other. Well, they are.  And they are killing people.
Okay.  I have established they are killing people.
In tonight’s episode, Emma is more concerned about Joe not informing her of the plan.  The plan included Joe still being alive, having a brother, and hiding out in a trailer park in Arkansas with a woman that paid her bills by hooking.  She was even doing the town reverend.   A poor bastard who realized Joe was who he actually was, and was killed by Joe. He never even let the man say a prayer.
The woman, who hid Joe for nearly a year, and her African American daughter Mandy, who is transfixed on Joe’s charisma and had to make a choice.  Her mamma was going to tell on Joe, and she couldn’t have that.  Little Ms. Mandy wanted out of the trailer park and she was not planning to be a whore like her mamma.  She did what was only logical; she ran a big ass knife through her Mamma’s belly.
Fast forward to Episode 5 and Emma confesses to Joe, “they are all crazy.”  No Schitt, Emma? However, Joe has a plan.
Lilly Gray, played by Connie Nielsen, has a whole new Joe obsessed crew.  Orphans she had adopted from around the world, who will do anything for her. Of course, to bring Joe out of hiding, she has them wear masks of Joe’s face and go on a killing spree. However, she is sadly mistaken on who she thinks Joe Carroll is and what he is about.  She finds this out when she takes him into his new workshop.
A workshop with a big ass birdcage that is housing a new bird for Joe to pluck the feathers from; he doesn’t bite.  The room is a modern torture chamber and the girl in the cage seems ready to play. Joe isn’t; he is very upset with Lilly. He tells her, “I will not be controlled.” Joe goes back in and kills the caged bird, which seems ready to be sacrificed.
Joe kills her, gets turned on, then has a drink while still covered in the dead bird’s blood.   Lilly is showered and ready for her man.  They make bloody love.
Meanwhile upstairs, Emma is locked in the room with creepy French Twin number two Luke, who doesn’t like to be touched.  French Twin Number One, Mark, has shot Ryan Hardy, who can’t seem to get his shit together.  He has drug his niece into his world of “I am going to kill Joe Carroll.”  Yeah, but at what expense? He is working against the FBI.  He is working against himself. He is also killing Lilly’s people; this episode he took out two.
What I like about this show:  It’s different from your run of the mill, “oh let’s catch a serial killer.”  CSI, Law &amp; Order, Criminal Minds, also focus on short term capture.  This show takes us inside the inner workings of cults and how they are controlled. It is subtle in its portrayal of a constantly deprave society looking for something in which to belong and become famous.
What I don’t like about this show: They kill a lot of people; because they can. Even The Killing didn’t have this much killing.
Tune in on Monday nights on Fox at 9&#160;pm for more killings.

New Post has been published on http://cinemablaze.com/2014/03/keeping-following/

Keeping Up with the Following

I just changed the channel and opened a can of crazy.  Crazy, creepy, good laced with a dose of Kevin Bacon returning as a damaged Ryan Hardy on the FOX thriller, The Following.  If you have been following the show, Joe Carroll is alive, he has new supporters and those bastards are killing people.  Again.

Here are the main players.

  • Kevin Bacon as Ryan Hardy, a former FBI agent who, in 2003, led the FBI team that captured serial killer Joe Carroll and is recalled to assist the FBI once Carroll escapes and his cult begins to develop, again.
  • Joe Carroll a former professor turned serial killer and cult leader played by James Purefoy.
  • Shawn Ashmore as Mike Weston, a young FBI agent
  • Valorie Curry  has returned as well as Emma Hill, a follower and romantic partner of Joe Carroll

However, this season, there are a bunch of people speaking French and killing more people.

The FBI states that there are over 300 serial killers operating nationwide. This show toys with the concept if these killers could connect and talk to each other. Well, they are.  And they are killing people.

Okay.  I have established they are killing people.

In tonight’s episode, Emma is more concerned about Joe not informing her of the plan.  The plan included Joe still being alive, having a brother, and hiding out in a trailer park in Arkansas with a woman that paid her bills by hooking.  She was even doing the town reverend.   A poor bastard who realized Joe was who he actually was, and was killed by Joe. He never even let the man say a prayer.

The woman, who hid Joe for nearly a year, and her African American daughter Mandy, who is transfixed on Joe’s charisma and had to make a choice.  Her mamma was going to tell on Joe, and she couldn’t have that.  Little Ms. Mandy wanted out of the trailer park and she was not planning to be a whore like her mamma.  She did what was only logical; she ran a big ass knife through her Mamma’s belly.

Fast forward to Episode 5 and Emma confesses to Joe, “they are all crazy.”  No Schitt, Emma? However, Joe has a plan.

Lilly Gray, played by Connie Nielsen, has a whole new Joe obsessed crew.  Orphans she had adopted from around the world, who will do anything for her. Of course, to bring Joe out of hiding, she has them wear masks of Joe’s face and go on a killing spree. However, she is sadly mistaken on who she thinks Joe Carroll is and what he is about.  She finds this out when she takes him into his new workshop.

A workshop with a big ass birdcage that is housing a new bird for Joe to pluck the feathers from; he doesn’t bite.  The room is a modern torture chamber and the girl in the cage seems ready to play. Joe isn’t; he is very upset with Lilly. He tells her, “I will not be controlled.” Joe goes back in and kills the caged bird, which seems ready to be sacrificed.

Joe kills her, gets turned on, then has a drink while still covered in the dead bird’s blood.   Lilly is showered and ready for her man.  They make bloody love.

Meanwhile upstairs, Emma is locked in the room with creepy French Twin number two Luke, who doesn’t like to be touched.  French Twin Number One, Mark, has shot Ryan Hardy, who can’t seem to get his shit together.  He has drug his niece into his world of “I am going to kill Joe Carroll.”  Yeah, but at what expense? He is working against the FBI.  He is working against himself. He is also killing Lilly’s people; this episode he took out two.

What I like about this show:  It’s different from your run of the mill, “oh let’s catch a serial killer.”  CSI, Law & Order, Criminal Minds, also focus on short term capture.  This show takes us inside the inner workings of cults and how they are controlled. It is subtle in its portrayal of a constantly deprave society looking for something in which to belong and become famous.

What I don’t like about this show: They kill a lot of people; because they can. Even The Killing didn’t have this much killing.

Tune in on Monday nights on Fox at 9 pm for more killings.